Updated 06 January 2012
I had to update my post to comment on the continuing debate on right to die, this time sponsored by Sir Terry Pratchett. The headline in The Sun today says 'Let us all die with dignity and comfort'. I agree. But there is another way, if assisted dying is not for you, or one of your loved ones.
Compassion in Dying is one place to get more information on the choices facing a terminally ill loved one. It is a difficult time for everyone, but with love and courage, dying at home with dignity is not only possible, it is positive.
I was so sad to hear Geraldine McClelland's story on Sky News today. To Geraldine's friends and family, my heartfelt condolences on your loss.
I had to update my post to comment on the continuing debate on right to die, this time sponsored by Sir Terry Pratchett. The headline in The Sun today says 'Let us all die with dignity and comfort'. I agree. But there is another way, if assisted dying is not for you, or one of your loved ones.
Compassion in Dying is one place to get more information on the choices facing a terminally ill loved one. It is a difficult time for everyone, but with love and courage, dying at home with dignity is not only possible, it is positive.
I was so sad to hear Geraldine McClelland's story on Sky News today. To Geraldine's friends and family, my heartfelt condolences on your loss.
I too lost my Mom to lung cancer this year, and I would like to say to other cancer sufferers and their families that there is another way. This post is not a debate about assisted suicide - I cannot possibly say how I would have felt in Geraldine's situation. My post today is about our positive and dignified approach to my Mom's death.
Mom was only 66 and was not ready to die. Mom's type of lung cancer was caused by years of smoking as a young woman, growing up in the 50s and 60s, when smoking was considered stylish and cosmopolitan. Back then, Mom had everything. She had her own car, and expected all mod cons when she and Dad married and moved into their first home. Mom worked until she was 63 and was very happy to be retired, planning all the things she wanted to do and places she wanted to see.
Mom's cancer took her life in nine short months. These were desperate times for us, but Mom did come to terms with her terminal illness. And because of that we were able to plan for her death. We never considered assisted suicide. Mom opted to die at home and we were supported by several agencies and wonderful people, who we called 'Mom's angels'. Mom signed a do not attempt resuscitation order under her GP's guidance. The District Nurse team provided a hospital bed, commode, nursing and caring skills at home. It was explained to us the options for increasing Mom's pain relief as her death approached. This included the use of a syringe driver, simply an injection of pain relief given over 12 or 24 hours. Mom didn't want this and it was never used.
Mom was helped by an incredible hypnotherapist and towards the end of her life, she was clear about her wishes, wrote letters to everyone and planned her funeral. She was also calm and pain free. I had five beautiful weeks with Mom at the end of her life, so precious, and I am so grateful for that opportunity.
On the day Mom died, she had said her goodbyes and we had all given permission for her to go. I don't think she knew how bad her disease had become, but the cancer had grown out of her back, she had lost the use of her right arm and she could hardly see. She was conscious and could hear us but couldn't speak. Her clinical team wanted to give her pain relief through the syringe driver. Mom indicated NO! to us and died quietly within the hour.
Afterwards, we picked flowers from her garden and laid them on her body.
The point is, Mom confronted her fear of dying. And through the support of her GP and District Nursing team and hypnotherapy, Mom was a delight and a pleasure to care for. She enriched our lives. I urge families to ask for help. There is another way, and it can be beautiful and pain-free and dignified.
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