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| Sweet peas, watercolour, Lesley Beeton, 2001 |
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| Sweet peas II, watercolour, Lesley Beeton, 2001 |
Sweet peas
My favourite summer flower, abundant and fragrant.
Courting controversy
I belong to a gym. I swim regularly. I walk two Boxer dogs every day and I am an active, happy person. Last year was difficult, not just because Mom was ill but also because my level of fitness plummeted, along with my weight. For several months of 2011, I managed to go swimming just once a week, although I never missed a dog walk, sometimes having to walk in the dark. No, the dogs didn't enjoy it either. My health suffered as a result of the sleep deprivation and the stress of caring for Mom and supporting Dad. By the time Mom died, I could hardly walk. I dragged myself around, easing the pain with ibuprofen. I needed to heal myself.
At the beginning of the year, as I was rummaging around in New Year's Resolutions, I considered taking on a personal trainer to help get me back to full fitness. I talked to two lady trainers who seemed very nice but one talked too much and one actually wanted a running companion - not for me. And the chap at the Club seemed a bit too fanatical. I mean, he enforces omitting food groups, his people are tired and no-one seems to be losing weight. And I've recently heard the term 'pseudo-science' - quite. The one thing they all seemed to have in common is a 'one size fits all' approach to personal training. I think that's wrong.
Now, I'm certain that not all personal trainers are like this. Many probably have fantastic people skills, but as long as the sessions only concentrate on exercise and diet, success will be limited. The psyche of the person seeking help from a personal trainer suggests someone who needs to share, otherwise why not just go for a run or a swim on your own?
I have worked hard on my own to improve my fitness. I have been so tired some nights that my husband thought I was ill, but when your resources are so low, exercise takes a lot out of you. I am a spiritual person, practicing yoga, meditation and breath awareness daily. Grief is stressful. Stress affects your physical body too. Take care of your body, as well as your mind. You can't be one without the other.
Which is why I was surprised and concerned when I overheard a conversation about 'grief anger' being treated with homeopathy. It's a good term, but is it treatable with homeopathy? Is it realistic to expect a more rapid return to 'normal' life after bereavement with the help of homeopathy, or other complementary therapies? I agree that these therapies are helpful, but there is so much more to it. In my opinion, it's best to talk to someone about your grief. Use complementary therapies to support you while you are undergoing counselling. They can help you sleep better, eat properly and interact positively with others. But, only by sharing with other human beings can you truly be healed*.
*For anyone looking for more online inspiration, have a look at these grief blogs. Please let me know your experiences of dealing with grief, and moving on through whatever means.
Follow @Shackleford_LB
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| Photo credit |
Mud woman??
Can you believe it? Someone searched for 'mud woman' and found this blog! Imagine their surprise, imagine my surprise! I have been muddy, dog walkers sometimes are, but I'm mostly just mad.
There was something mad going on last night in the Village. The foxes were at it - all night long. Screeching and moaning and barking. It sounded like an orgy in the woods. It really upset the Boxers. The big big dog barked for about an hour; a high-pitched pathetic bark as if to say 'Mummy, what are those naughty foxes doing when it's bed time?'. Exactly. The little big dog slept through it all.
Perhaps he was too tired to move after discovering the hedgehogs are awake in the hedge. Poor things. The Boxers have been watching them for two days. As long as they don't come out of the hedge, they'll be fine. Read what happened last spring.
The boys have been a bit tired today and are now having a lie-down; must have been that little bit of savoury mince at lunctime. Come to think of it, I had the same thing and could also do with a nap, but have just noticed a grassy vomit in the bed (dog bed!).
And finally, we must apologise to the hash runners. I've been meaning to for sometime. Really sorry if some of the hashers couldn't follow the trail. The Boxers may have eaten the hash flour marks in the woods...
One Village Two Councils
The ridiculousness of it! And the complete waste of money through duplication. The Village is roughly split in two between Waverley and Guildford Borough Councils. And today the Waverley houses were proudly displaying their bright blue wheelie bins - they look good in this rural setting, NOT. Furthermore, these new blue recycling bins will be for ALL recycling. That's right, Waverley residents no longer need to sort their recycling. The Guildford residents, however, have two recycling containers and a food waste bin. Our bins are collected on different days, so we have refuse and recycling trucks trundling through the Village on two days a week. It's not a big village! And then there's the duplication in planning authorities, social services, council tax collection, and so on. Should I start a one-woman campaign to move the Village into one council? But which council would I choose? Frankly, one is as bad as the other. It never ceases to amaze me that the councils interact so infrequently given their proximity to one another. When the Village was fighting against the Quarry neither council was prepared to stand up for the Village against the County Council planners and the minerals strategy. Shame on them.
And now, another ludicrous proposal. In an effort to reduce the number of MPs (a move which I whole-heartedly endorse), it is proposed that the Village join with the Woking Parliamentary constituency. Now what, I ask you, does Woking have in common with the Village? If the Village is to be 'moved' out of the Guildford boundary, surely everyone can see that we are closer to Godalming, Farnham or Haslemere? You can see the consultation process here.
Let's hope that common sense prevails. Here endeth the rant.
The Boxers are oblivious to my ire, they have had a fabulous woodland walk, between them making 14 stops! That's almost a record. That's the life of a Village dog walker.
Supporting Yummy Mummy Week for CLIC Sargent
I couldn't ignore Love All Blogs today! Everyone loves to share cake, and this is one I made at the weekend. Not the prettiest baked cheesecake but boy did it taste good! I'll be happy to share, the recipe!, if anyone would like it. It was based on this as recommended by Chez Foti.
And because I have had time to bake again, this daring chocolate fudge cake. Not much in the decoration, more in the tasting!
These beauties were decorated by Emily Wilson, at a Fair Cake workshop.
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| Baked vanilla cheesecake |
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| Chocolate fudge cake |
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| Decorated cupcakes |
And all this cake is to support CLIC Sargent, caring for children with cancer, and Yummy Mummy Week.
And in other news...
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| Puggle |
Now, this will amuse you. I met a Puggle yesterday. That's a cross between a Pug and a Beagle, a chocolate brown idiot dog who wandered off and thought the Boxers would be fun to play with. I spotted her first, though, and made sure she got safely home. Apparently, she was visiting a neighbour and dug her way through the fence then came through two gardens, and crossed a road. It delayed our walk, too, but amused the boys over the road. I don't know if I'm in favour of these crosses.
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| Bassador |
I've recently heard of a Bassador, that's a Basset x Labrador! And we know quite a few Labradoodles and Goldiedoodles. I know that crosses do sometimes happen unintentionally and most offspring are cute and quirky in their own way, well loved but not necessarily to be repeated. I'm not an expert, though, so I'm not judging, merely observing.
And in other news, two ladies of a great age. No, not the Queen. One lady has a Birthday today, hoorah! One lady, a stalwart of Village life, sadly passed away last weekend. My condolences to her family and to all her Village friends, of which she had many.
It's my week to open and close the Church (*shudders, thinking about coffee-drinking vagrant, but that's another story). So I had a little walk up the road after swimming. I don't often just walk, enjoying the Village ambience, taking note of the other gardens, watching the school children hard at work, the nursery school with heads bent over creative tasks. When I walk I usually have the Boxers with me, and they quite frankly are not interested in sentimentality. I noticed that the bulbs are up in the School garden, a cheerful welcome; I noticed the sunny primulas outside the Village Hall. I saw Kai waiting patiently for his walk. I had time to enjoy the peace and quiet of the Churchyard, and read the visitor's book. I noticed the earthmoving equipment in the garden of the big house - getting ready for the National Gardens Scheme weekend already?
It promises to be a good week in Shackleford. I posted my Monday mood board here. Off to the garden now, dog walking later.
My Monday mood board
This lovely blog from Tasmania lovingly put together by an (almost) long-lost friend inspired me to put new batteries in my camera and get photographing. It's not a medium that I'm comfortable with, preferring a pencil and a notebook, but here goes - a positive Monday mood board from my garden in Surrey. Signs of spring all around.
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| Camellia buds |
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| Over-wintered spinach |
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| Veggie patch intruder? |
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| Veggie patch jobs to do |
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| Salix caprea (goat willow) |
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| Sempervivum |
And finally, I love this big round tub of little plants standing firm against the elements; I see a lot of me in them.
All images belong to me.
Follow @Shackleford_LB
Skipping through the blogger-sphere?
There's a funny thing that happens on the internet. You read something and you think you know all about it. You see a small snippet of someone's life, and you think you know that person. Well, I think I can safely say, that you don't know me. How could you? I've lived 99.9% of my life outside of the Twitter-and Blogger-sphere. But now that I'm here, I want to share more with you, and I would like more of you to share with me. My profound Blogger observation of the day: blogging is interactive. There was recently a discussion on the Mumsnet Bloggers Forum about this, about how we Bloggers paste a link to our latest blog post, and run, without even looking at the entry above ours. I have to say I have done this, mainly because at first, I did try and read a good half dozen or so, and comment, and almost never got a comment back. I still read the front page of Mumsnet Blogs, as they roll over, and I do like the Featured Blogs, and I comment on most blogs that I read, because someone has taken the time to write something original.
But the best way of connecting with like-minded people, not just Bloggers, does appear to be on Twitter, the micro-blogging platform (see my new Twitter local heroes here). Clever people can say a lot in 140 characters, or less!
With another hat on, I write a blog about life in an English village with two Boxers (dogs not fighters, as one Twit said). My latest blog post is about locally sourced and produced food, and why I think pubs and restaurants should be proud to use local ingredients when designing their menus.
And in (almost) another life, I dabbled in the art world, a world I felt so at home in, although not a very good artist myself. But I connected with people through their art and mine. Painting and drawing have always been part of my life. My doodles are legendary, they unlock my inner self, much like a meditation. I have always felt strongly that more people should be encouraged to create; it is a way of expressing yourself even if you can't find the words to say how you feel.
So the next time you are tempted to just gloss over someone's blog, stop, read and interact. People are amazing, and each one of us has an important story to tell.
Foodie post #1
I have been wanting to do this for some time, but in between all the other things I do, searching out foodie stuff has been put on a back burner for a while. But all of a sudden the feelers I have been putting out, have come back with some info, enough for a short post. I hope interested others will help me build on this.
Magazines such as Surrey Life and Country Living, both of which I read regularly, have long been extolling the virtues of locally-sourced food, but it's not that easy to find. And there isn't, as far as I can see, a central point for accessing this information. I have been using Twitter and internet searches to dig out little known names, primarily to set out a local group of food producers. I should mention here Local Food Surrey who do a good job, but the search facility is a bit mis-leading (and disappointing) in that companies who have a registered head office locally are listed as locally produced. I'm sure that it will improve as more businesses are added and more people search for local food. Wouldn't it be nice if more local restaurants chose to source their ingredients from local sources and highlighted these on their menus?
Wild Croft Rare Breeds, Puttenham
I look forward to adding to my list, and more importanly, to enjoying much more locally produced food. Perhaps my next post on this topic will be on local restaurants and pubs who use locally-sourced ingredients and are proud of it.
Who knocked over the recycling?
That question (along with Who played tug o' war with the blanket, Who licked the butter, Who made that smell, and What the heck is that?) addressed to the little big dog earlier today. He has a quirky habit of punching things with his nose. I had my back turned at the time, so can't be sure it was him, but I heard the noise and saw him trotting away, tail in the air, while the big big dog barked to tell me the recycling had 'fallen' over.
And then, as if to make amends, he brought me a dirty ball to play with. I know it's dirty, I saw him dig it out of the garden, wee on it, rub it a bit more in the mud, before presenting it to me. Nice one, and it's not coming in the house.
The big big dog is very different. He'll play a bit, but bores easily and is very suspicious if I try a new game. Suspicious as in 'What evil is she up to now?'. I tell him it's my prerogative as his Mummy to insist on doing new and exciting things, which may or may not involve de-worming, tick and flea treatment, or general ear, nose, mouth, other end inspections as required.
Now, the biggest problem, for us, is that domestic dogs just don't know they are dogs. Of course, they don't actually know anything, but that's not the point. The point is that we (yes, even us) are guilty of 'humanising' our dogs. Sure, they only eat dog food, I restrict treats, they sleep on their own beds, but when I am ambling around doing the gardening, housekeeping or other more boring things like actual work, I talk to the 'boys' all the time. I ask their opinion, I tell them if someone is being a d**k, I even cry into their velvety necks. And this emotional connection is what dog ownership is all about. The unconditional, non-judgemental regard our dogs have for us. I can't imagine being without my dogs, or worse being mean to my 'boys', not taking care of them, worrying about them when they have to go into kennels. Yes, they are just dogs, but they are important members of our family and deserve our full attention and respect.
Mind-body interactions in chronic illness
Hypnotherapy in particular, has proven benefits in smoking cessation, weight control and treating phobias. But it is also useful in maintaining a positive outlook on life, mainly by changing perceptions. Shortly after my mother died from lung cancer, her hypnotherapist and I wrote a short article on the benefits of hypnotherapy in chronic and terminal illness. This was first published in the newsletter of the Spirit Fitness Club, Guildford and can be read here. We felt that there was more to write, however, and I have been looking into recent research papers* to further substantiate our (largely) anecdotal evidence, and to show that there is good evidence for the use of complementary therapies in patients with chronic illness.
The Marie Curie Cancer Centre, Newcastle upon Tyne, published a small pilot study, looking at the role of hypnotherapy in the palliative care setting, by relieving stress and helping patients to cope with their illness and the prospect of dying. The audit established the demand for a hypnotherapy service, and the practicalities of providing such a service in a busy centre. It also identified the benefits of hypnotherapy, as perceived by patients and therapist. The study was conducted over 5 months, involving just eleven clients (seven staff and four patients), using questionnaires. The main findings were a unanimous positive coping and relaxation benefit, with 82% of clients reporting it had assisted in improving the presenting problem, and 91% felt it had been of benefit in general. Similar findings were published by Monti, Sufian and Peterson in 2008, where mind-body therapies, not just hypnotherapy, were found to improve cancer survivorship. Two studies carried out in Budapest by Jakubovits in 2010 and 2011 further suggest methods for hypnosis in complex oncology.
Cassileth and Keefe in 2010 published their findings looking at the role of integrative complementary therapies, including mind-body techniques, on specific cancer-related neuropathic pain, a complex physical and psychosocial pain; indeed in all types of chronic pain, hypnotherapy is shown to be effective on a variety of pain outcomes (Dillworth and Jensen, 2010).
Another aspect of cancer treatment is the sleep disturbance many patients experience. Hypnotherapy can effectively help manage the pain-sleep disturbance cycle in people with cancer, by helping with relaxation. A good night’s sleep is fundamental to well-being, for both patients and families. A report by Kwekkeboom et al (2010), found that further studies on mind-body interactions in the treatment of complex sleep disturbance could help patients with all aspects of the pain-fatigue-sleep disturbance cluster.
In a specific case of the management of leukaemia, Wesa and Cassileth in 2009 found that patients were looking for complementary therapies to be used in conjunction with traditional cancer treatments to reduce side-effects of the drugs, or as a coping mechanism during treatments. In this study mind-body interactions such as self-hypnosis, meditation and breath awareness such as is practised in yoga, massage and reflexology, acupuncture, and a healthy diet and exercise were analsyed and found to be useful for these patients. Just a word of caution here, botanical extracts and vitamin supplements may interfere with cancer treatment, so ask before using these.
And finally, in a randomized trial of mind-body interactions on a positive/negative effect during breast cancer radiotherapy, forty women were randomized to receive either cognitive-behavioural therapy and hypnosis or standard care, and their analysis showed a reduction in the negative effect and an increased positive effect, which was significantly more intense. Patients receiving this therapy also had significantly more positive days during their treatment, and the authors conclude that mind-body interaction therapies have the potential to significantly improve the experience of women breast cancer patients receiving radiotherapy (Schnur et al 2009).
It seems obvious to me that these complementary approaches together with traditional cancer treatment should be more widely offered to patients during treatment, both as outpatient chemotherapy and radiotherapy patients, but also as inpatients in hospital. Sometimes, as a cancer patient, despite all your best efforts, a hospital stay is necessary. That in itself is traumatic, but it shouldn’t have to be without complementary therapy too. By writing this blog, I am hoping to raise awareness of the possibilities, and to encourage patients and their families to ask for more help along the cancer journey. It can make life so much easier.
Sheep, keep your dog on a short lead
Now, I may have joked about this a little while ago, the syntax that is, definitely not the sentiment. But this week, it's deadly serious. It's lambing season in Surrey and five pregnant sheep have been killed in Tadworth, following dog attacks. Read the story here.
Please, please dog walkers, we are so fortunate to be able to ramble through Surrey's farms, but I know our local farmer can be rather fierce (a quite rightly so) if he sees dogs off lead near his sheep. A couple of years ago, this happened on The Farm near to us. Two sheep were badly injured, though thankfully did survive, but it did mean a lot of people looking around to work out whose dogs had done it (not mine!). And it meant that we felt unable to walk on the farm for quite a while.
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| Shackleford Woods, Lesley Beeton |
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| Invasive rhododendron, Lesley Beeton |
The other thing we noticed on Sunday evening is that the invasive rhododendron, removed en masse by the countryside ranger last autumn has stealthily returned. I personally don't mind it, especially in flower, but I do understand that it can't be allowed to take hold again.
Art therapy in the 'crazy' world
I was clearly living in the wrong box twelve years ago, and whilst on holiday 'Down Under' I realised that the work I was doing was totally wrong for me, not supporting my personal development needs and certainly not helping my domestic situation. So, on my return to the UK, I handed in my resignation and set about securing funding for a return to university to complete my PhD studies. It took two years and lots of grant writing, but it also brought me to a local organisation as a volunteer art therapist.
A local artist started Sculpt it, a community arts initiative, and was looking for a volunteer to help with adults with mental health challenges. These were mainly in the autistic spectrum. Clients attended a weekly workshop where we used painting, drawing, felt-making, clay work and mosaics to interact in a mostly non-verbal way. Carers were invited but almost never stayed for the sessions so we got very close to the clients and quickly learnt which activities they preferred. One man enjoyed knitting so much that if he saw the needles he just picked them up and started knitting, stopping only once for coffee in the three hour workshop. He didn't like scissors! One of our clients could draw and paint so beautifully and with such insight that her work was exhibited publicly.
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| Sweet peas, Lesley Beeton, 2001 |
And my life has moved on too. After completing the PhD and a post doc in cardiovascular genetics I am now starting again, getting the art back together, writing, keeping in touch with people who mean a lot to me. I hope to link up with other like-minded people in Surrey. One of my goals this year is to create awareness for the kind of support people with terminal illness (not just cancer) need and I would love to explore creativity in this context.
Local heroes
I've had a Twitter epiphany! A fellow blogger declares her weekly Twitter and blog awards, which I think is a very good idea. I think we can take this idea a bit further though, and would like to start my own Local Hero awards. I have been networked into a couple of local to Godalming networks, and I hope these networks will become stronger.
So, as a start to my Local Hero (Twitter) awards, and not to be confused with Community Heroes at Surrey Life magazine, I nominate the following :
@SurreyLife for a great magazine which promotes our wonderful county
@Puppy_Views for amusing cocker spaniel tweets and because today is #happyfursday
@HypnotherapySy because what he does is very important
@claz0r for her charity undertaking this year
Of course, there are Local Heroes not on Twitter or blogging, and we shouldn't forget them even though I can't name them here. I have chosen to post this here because it's part of moving on from bereavement. Believe or not, I have found some wonderful characters on Twitter, real people with genuine talent and kindness. They and others are a constant reminder that keeping people close to you is important. And just as important, is making new friends and developing new networks.
You might have your own Local Heroes, can you nominate someone from one of your networks? I'd love to hear your choices.
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