Today's mood board is all about hanging in there. I suppose there are times when we all feel a bit like 'just hang in there', everything will be OK. This isn't about me, though. This is about someone else, someone close to me, who is just about hanging in there.
Over the last few weeks, he has been reaching out to me for support. Most likely because he's not been too well, and we are very close. I am happy to talk to him about his loss, but it seems to me that I'm not doing too well with that. The confessions of grief and sadness are becoming serious, considered and are delivered in a matter-of-fact way which cannot be ignored. He is adamant that he won't speak to anyone else. This concerns me, because I am afraid that he will completely withdraw from his friends and other family, although he denies this will happen.
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| Hanging in there, a photo-collage of hanging items in my home and garden, Lesley Beeton |
The GP told me five months ago that he was reluctant to take any action so soon after a significant bereavement. I accepted this at the time, and agreed to 'wait and see'. We had an argument in early January, about his reliance on his GP for objective emotional and clinical care. Past history suggests that this is not the case, and this does rather complicate things. The thing is, that he has suffered from depression for some time, years in fact. He refuses to take medication for depression, but will also not speak to anyone about it, although he did have a course of hypnotherapy. Grief on top of depression is not a good place to be. The two struggle against one another, the grief trying to find the light in each day; the depression blacking it out before the day has even begun. It's a painful spiral to watch; poor sleep, depression, sadness.
And last week, he was clearly distressed at not being able to remember some personal information. It's probably nothing, but it has put me in a difficult position. Knowing that he doesn't want me to interfere with his medical care, but having a duty of care to ensure that he is safe, well and not vulnerable. They don't tell you this when your Mum dies. They don't tell you what to do about Dad.