Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

So the quote by Muhammad Ali goes.
Butterfly, RHS Wisley, glasshouse,
February 2012, Lesley Beeton
Well, after quite a busy week looking after Dad, I was really looking forward to having Friday to myself. We were up early, washing in the machine, dogs walked, Mr B ready for work when I WAS STUNG BY A BEE! I know it was a bee because a) I saw it on the dog towel, and b) IT LEFT ITS DAMN STING IN MY THIGH!


Don't look if you are easily grossed out!
OK, I'll stop shouting now but I want to make it clear that it was very painful, and the neither the Boxers nor Mr B were any help at all. So I sent the former to bed and the latter to work. I scratched away the sting, washed my thigh, applied anti-sting stuff, took an anti-histamine, and got on with the day. Until 4pm when I suddenly registered a pain in my leg and found that my thigh was swollen, red and hard, a bit like when I was bitten by the white-tailed spider. Now, I keep a stash of antibiotics for just this eventuality, so I self-medicated; very brave of me. Dr B's contribution? To mark the area of cellulitis with a thick, permanent, black marker! So, not very sympathetic then. I think you may be seeing a pattern developing here - me being bitten/stung and him not being very impressed by my wounds. I suppose if you're dealing with really ill people, your wife's discomfort is not that important.


Fast forward to 1.30am this morning. Dr B is on call. It's the Registrar calling about a patient. Dr B is all charm, and off he goes to sort things out; well, it is his job after all. I caught up on Twitter and blog reading and at 4am decided to try to sleep again - and five minutes later he was back. Talk about inconsiderate.


When the alarm went off at 6am, I got up and took the dogs for a walk in the woods, first getting Dr B's breakfast as he is working today. We had a (pleasant) surprise in the woods, however. A tented camp has gone up overnight and dance/rave/trance music was being blasted out at us. There were some zombies awake, but they were not very communicative. The Boxers were bemused, I thought the tune (there seemed to be only one) was rather catchy and we practically skipped round our walk. Couldn't hear the birdsong though.


Two cups of tea and a bowl of porridge later, blogs written, emails done, more washing, dishwasher unpacked and repacked, birds fed, and phew, I think I might be ready for my second sleep. 


Oh! And what was Dr B's parting words of wisdom? Remember to keep your leg elevated! Ha! 


Have a super Saturday!




Isn't it time we changed the way we do bereavement?

Bereavement doesn't have to mean suffering. It can be a period of reflection, from which we, the survivors, draw comfort and strength to face the future without our loved ones. I have been close to my Dad this week as he recovers from surgery at our home. It was also our 20th Wedding Anniversary and the start of Wimbledon fortnight, always a highlight for Mom. I thought Dad might remember our Anniversary, but instead he stared into his bowl of cereal and said in a very serious and small voice 'Mom has been dead for 10 months today'. Of course, I already knew that. I still wake every morning, reflecting on the way we lost Mom to cancer, but I don't feel the need to off-load those thoughts on my Dad. He has enough to deal with.

I do wonder though if he is dealing with his bereavement by constantly reminding himself of Mom, because if he doesn't, he might forget her. I know he will never forget his partner of over forty years - how could he? Her presence is all around us.

Mom at Wimbledon
And in Wimbledon there is a perfect example of that. Mom loved tennis and played for most of her life. In fact, she and Virginia Wade (who won Wimbledon in 1977 during the Queen's Silver Jubilee) played tennis together as young girls in Durban in the 1950s. Mom never missed Wimbledon, watching avidly on the TV, until her first visit to the Championships twelve years ago. She went several times after that, and always felt so lucky to have done so. 

We grew up in the Bjorn Borg era of tennis, Mom's real tennis hero, but she was, at heart, a lover of the game at ground level. So, this first year of Wimbledon without Mom, I'm flying the flag for armchair tennis watching - and I'm loving it!

I Heart My Snap: Red Letter-Box

I took this photo as part of a series 'Life through the hedge'. I think it's my favourite as the red letter-box stands out against the lush green hedgerow of the English summer.


I'm linking up with I Heart My Snap.



Dog days in the New Forest

Themba has been up early in recent days; he was preparing for the Summer Solstice. On the day, however, it dawned overcast and cool, so he slept in. No fooling him then. And in a moment of spontaneity we decided to celebrate Summer, and twenty years of wedded bliss, with a weekend away in the New Forest, with the Boxers! 

We set off in torrential rain on Friday afternoon, we did wonder if we would get there. It's only a 55 mile journey but with many local roads already affected by the weather, perhaps we were a bit optimistic. But, the gods smiled on us and we had an uneventful trip, arriving in time to walk the boys in the New Forest before a romantic dinner.

We have stayed at the lovely Woodlands Lodge before; it's pretty much the same - great location, relaxed atmosphere, excellent food. The new owners have, however, updated and refreshed the property and we were pleasantly surprised. 

Saturday dawned bright and dry and we were up for a walk. The full story and pictures here, suffice it to say, the 'boys' enjoyed the mud, being with humans and lunch in the pub!

The dogs are excellent travel companions, very respectful and patient. They almost never bark (in contrast to the two Jack Russell terriers who seemed to bark incessantly).





We woke to quite heavy rainfall on Sunday morning, but undeterred we explored a lovely Forestry Commission area nearby, a non-muddy path alongside a pretty stream. Tails up, must have been good. Then breakfast, packing up and home, via the Hindhead tunnel.




And the anniversary present? Well, that was easy. Twenty years is china, so we bought this lovely mosaic by Jane Skingley.
Tea with the Queen, Jane Skingley



Life through the hedge in close-up

Striking shapes and colour in trees and flowers, as seen through the hedge. Read the full story here.
















Life through the hedge

These photos were all taken on a 5 mile walk in the New Forest recently. We followed a woodland walk (OS Explore OL22 New Forest) stopping for a jacket potato at the Gamekeeper Pub in Bartley Road. We started near Busketts Lawn, followed the bridleway over Goldenhayes Park, then walked next to a stream to Fletchwood Road near Great Fletchwood Farm. The privately owned woodland Fletchwood Copse might have been an important source of arrows for the Saxons! It was an easy walk, peaceful, a bit muddy in spots, and the Boxers loved it.

I was fascinated by the views along the walk, the footpaths and bridleways often between deep hedgerows; our beautiful countryside. All pictures were taken with my Canon 350D.











The banana press

Reading a GP's Twitterings made me realise that we have very different ideas about what patients should expect from GPs. GPs expect patients to fit into the numbers game (alcohol consumption, weight, blood pressure, cholesterol). Patients expect GPs to treat them as individuals. I do see both sides of the desk, being married to Dr B (who is not a GP but who does work closely with a number of excellent GPs). And having spent several years at medical school myself, perhaps I am not the best patient.

I actually wanted to call this post 'Is your GP making you sick?' but I chickened out at the last minute, in case he reads it and thinks I'm being overly-critical. Recently, there was a new government campaign about not ignoring the signs of lung cancer. Many GPs were aghast at the sentiment of the campaign, that being that prolonged cough could be cancer. They were concerned that more patients (a deluge) would demand a referral for lung cancer screening. In fact, what most patients want is to be taken seriously, for the GP to take a thorough history, even if they think they know the patient, and then to refer (or not) as appropriate. 

I have also already said how cross I am that GPs are planning to take industrial action on Thursday. This upsets and unsettles patients.

When we were preparing for Mom's death, I looked around for a support group, of similarly terminally ill people, who didn't want to go to hospice. Well, as far as we know none exists locally. And I think I know why. General Practice is not equipped for the emotional side of dying at home. Yes, they are a talented team of people who rally round with bed baths and pain relief but there was no emotional support. We found a hypnotherapist who worked with Mom to help her come to terms with her prognosis, and for that we are eternally grateful; but this approach was not endorsed by the GP and caused a delay in Mom starting this treatment, even though we paid privately for it.

I have recently mentioned this again, in response to a blog post about an article written by a Journalist who has recovered from breast cancer. I am so pleased for her and for the many women who do survive breast cancer, but there are so many people who do not survive cancer, and there is precious little support for those who know the battle is lost. Mom decided that hospice was not for her, and that meant we were on our own. And the point is, Mom's story is painful, but beautiful. Mom's story is about dying with dignity. Mom's story needs to be told.

I have offered my services voluntarily through a GP to support the terminally ill in practical ways in our community. The response: the terminally ill should try this* group, they may not suit everyone as they are overtly Christian (or words to that effect). There could be a much better way. The District Nurses already provide a wonderful service to the community but they are stretched, short-staffed - could volunteers help in any way? Perhaps administrative, preparing information packs, ordering home equipment, filling in forms? That would free up the nurses for caring. Could volunteers be trained to talk to terminally ill people in their homes, helping them and their families through the maze of jargon and paperwork that comes with this label?

Mom's story is close to home, mistakes were made in her treatment but we triumphed in the end. It is a powerful tribute to Mom. And it could help others. I would like to help others.

And the bananas? Well, I'm very frustrated by the lack of support, and the lack of understanding about the need for support, for the terminally ill. Banana is a polite way of saying bo****ks.

*anonymised

Jolly June (at last)

Pink Peony
What a great weekend! The weather was fab, the garden looks great, England won the football, we went to see the fantastic Guildford School of Acting production of Mel Brooks' 'The Producers' and we had a lovely day out at Open Farm Sunday. It was Father's Day too, so we treated Dad, and all had a jolly good time. The Boxers have settled in to their new routine. Themba gets his medication twice a day, and rests a lot in between. Brin is as bouncy as ever, but seems to know not to bother the little one too much. Occasionally, a squirrel or pigeon needs to be chased, the Postman and Milkman still get barked at (more in greeting than in aggression), and we are woken at 6am by wagging tails and wet noses, ready for their jog. It's hard to believe that Themba has a life-limiting diagnosis, but we won't dwell on that.

The Village is gearing up for its summer season, so there are more and more gatherings of neighbours and emails appealing for help for this and that. We are skulking away, however, as after looking at the calendar and realising it's our twentieth wedding anniversary, we decided we had better do something to celebrate. So we are taking the 'boys' to the New Forest and will miss the Shackleford fete this weekend. It can't be helped. We have stayed at Woodlands Lodge before, but it is under new management now and by all accounts seems much improved. We have always found it to be quite fine, with great food and a very relaxed attitude to the dogs. I'll let you know...

In the meantime, don't forget to check out Jump! mag, an online magazine for your young teens.

Gross Anatomy: the death of an inspiration

I was saddened to read of the death of Professor Phillip Valentine Tobias, one of the iconic South African academics of our time. He inspired me, and gave me a life-long love of science and the human body. How many young scientists can say that about their teachers today? 

RIP PVT.

This was first published on The Camel's Hump in April 2012, but it seems appropriate to reproduce it here as my tribute to Professor Tobias.




Gross Anatomy


I went to Medical School in 1987. It was an incredible experience, crammed full of learning from inspirational Professors at the peak of their careers. My stand-out memory is the first day of Gross Anatomy. Faced with dozens of cadavers in shrouds, fresh-faced students in crisp, clean white coats, and that smell – I couldn’t wait to get started. Such a privilege.
Each precious body had been donated to medical research, to help train doctors, nurses and physiotherapists. We stood next to our allocated body, four students in a group, and recited a modified Hippocratic Oath. We were to dissect the body over the academic year, 565 hours of dissection, in detail, covering all organ systems, blood vessels, nerves and the brain. Our bible for the year was Man’s Anatomy by Tobias and Arnold, in three volumes. Professor Tobias and Professor Arnold were the big beasts of Anatomy. We were in awe of them. They were known affectionately as PVT and JCA (behind their backs of course)!Diagram showing a skin flap incision for anatomy students
Getting started was a hand-trembling affair, guided by this illustration. Skin preserved in embalming fluid is very tough. But once you’re in, you’re in – and the delights of the human body were ours to explore. Over the weeks and months, we committed to memory all the arteries, veins, nerves and bones (oh, my poor parents had that box of bones in their living room); using mnemonics to remember the long lists. For example, Peter And Paul Masturbated SMuch Their Balls Shrank refers to the branches of one of the thoracic arteries (I wish I could remember which one)! I can remember, though, that this one refers to the twelve cranial nerves: Oh Oh Oh To Touch And Feel A Girl’s Vagina Very Happily (or something very like it). The point is, we were drunk on anatomy for that year. We were walking encyclopaedia of lists of body parts, our text books were marked in wax pencil (I still have one I used in 1987), and nobody would share the lift with us because the smell permeated our clothes and hair. We knew it and we didn’t care. We were doing something that not many people ever get to do. It would shape our lives in the future. Some would go on to be world class surgeons, some physicians, sports scientists, pharmacists. I decided on a career in research.
Who knows how a career will turn out. I didn’t even do Science at school. I was expected to study Languages at University. I’m grateful to a Biology teacher for showing me something different, and changing my life. She asked me to help her clear out the cupboard in the lab. What we didn’t find in there. And lurking at the back, in a dark jar, was the most gorgeous pig foetus. We changed the preserving fluid, to reveal the tiny, perfect animal; when was he put in there, kept for me to find? I was hooked.
Page from an anatomy textbook, featuring student anotationsAnd so, standing in the dissection hall, several years later, in the basement at Medical School, I knew I was in the right place. I grasped the scalpel with both hands and made the first cut. Nine months later, the Technician was standing over the cadaver we had been working on. It approaching the final Lesson – the brain. He used a tiny, whirring saw to remove the cranium. He revealed a clean, shiny brain in situ. In order to complete the study, we had to remove the brain, with all the cranial nerves in tact. I had the smallest hands and I put them on either side of the brain, inside the skull. I tugged gently and felt around the base of the brain, to free the nerves from their restraints. A little more tugging, and I had the brain in my hands. We prepared the dissection and made 1cm slices through the brain, sectioning it in cross-section. I have never forgotten that moment. And neither will countless other medical students. That brain, sectioned, preserved and displayed can still be seen in the Anatomy Museum at Wits Medical School.
Gross anatomy? I don’t think so. Stunning, wondrous anatomy, is more like it.

Rumpy Dog on Lennox


Please read Rumpy Dog's post on Lennox here
I reproduce my comment to the post below.
If you want to read the judgement for yourself, click here to go to the Belfast City Council website.


Thank you for this great post.
I cry for Lennox. I read the judgement, I read the witness statements. It seems to me that neither side has listened to the other side. And the judge ruled in the interest of public safety. I suppose she could do nothing else given the circumstances, because IF Lennox had attacked someone after a reprieve the row would have been heard on the Moon. But I shake my head at how this all started with the council dog warden, who stands to become quite infamous in her actions. I hope she doesn’t get to do TV and magazine interviews or get a movie deal from this.
I agree with your suggestions re. reducing dog attacks. As the (responsible) owner of two very powerful Boxer dogs, I am constantly reminded how stupid/ignorant many people are about dog behaviour, and I include here the owners of SOME small dogs who allow them to run off lead.
I NEVER allow the Boxers off lead in the woods and on the farm. For one thing, there is plenty of livestock which could be frightened by the dogs. And for another thing, there could be cyclists, horse-riders, runners, walkers, children in the area – all of whom could react in an unpredictable manner if they saw my Boxer dogs running like mad.
Let’s be clear – my dogs have never attacked anyone, but they have knocked me over in my own garden because they weren’t looking where they were running (they were looking at each other)!
Dogs can be dangerous, they don’t always intend to be so. Anyone with a bit of common sense will see that dog behaviour is most often associated with the actions of the human beings around them. Don’t blame the dog.
BW,
Lesley and the Boxers x.



You're Beautiful - After The Rain

What a coincidence. The sun shone this morning, so I grabbed my camera and had a wander around my garden, composing a blog post called 'After The Rain'. The Boxers watched with interest as I explored the little mushrooms that have popped up in the lawn, tutted at the hedge that has sprouted up and now needs trimming - again, marvelled at the rhododendron flowers which survived the monsoon. 


When I came inside I had a quick look to see what everyone else is up to this morning, and imagine my delight when I found that Cheetahs in my Shoes had exactly the same idea.

So I'm joining up with You're Beautiful, so glad to have a break in the rain.

You're Beautiful