Monday mood board #5

My mood board theme for today is full of colour. It reflects the environment around me this week. And it also reflects my mood. I am by nature a colourful person. I can wear colours together that might otherwise clash, but I can get away with it. Today, for example, I am wearing turquoise and fuschia - mind you, I am just at home with the dogs and not doing anything posh!

Colourful, mixed photo, watercolour and pastel collage,
March 2012, Lesley Beeton

My Mother was a very colourful person too. But she was much more formal in her approach to colour, she was what you might call colour co-ordinated. Everything had to match. It was she who told me that I had to wear blue eye shadow because I have blue eyes! She had shoes in every colour, to match every outfit in her wardrobe. It took me days to sort it all out after she died. Many of her shoes were still in their original boxes, neatly labeled as to which outfit they went with. I felt sad giving her things away. I do hope they found good homes, with people who took as much pride in their appearance as my Mother did.

Now don't judge me too harshly. My Mom never wore black - ever. And she certainly didn't want mourners wearing black to her funeral. I wore red. Mom would have approved. 

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A FUNNY THING HAPPENED

I believe that our dear departed will never be forgotten because we are their monument. I feel close to Mom every day because I walk my dogs in the woods where we scattered her ashes. It is a beautiful spot and at sunset Mom's tree is gloriously illuminated. So when I lost a silk clip belonging to Mom whilst scattering her ashes in the woods, I was very upset. I had worn it every day following her death and had said I would put it away after scattering the ashes. I noticed it was missing when we got back to the car. We re-traced our steps straight away but it was gone. Until last Saturday, 8 weeks to the day and the hour, when my husband looked down and there it was on the path. I think it's a sign from Mom, and after I have cleaned it, I look forward to wearing it again.

It reminded me about what happened on the day Mom died. I had a notebook which I carried everywhere, containing all the notes about Mom's care, hospital appointments, important numbers, as well as personal thoughts on her disease. Mom hated the book when it came out at meetings so that I could document who had promised to do what and follow-up when things didn't happen on time. My notebook and I were a formidable force.

One of the items in my notebook was funeral arrangements, so when Mom passed away I would really have found that information useful, but I just couldn't find that notebook. One of the nurses said that it would turn up on the day of Mom's funeral. In fact, I found it before then, in a drawer I never use! I am convinced that the notebook was put away so that I could concentrate on that day, the memories etched on my mind, a privileged, shared experience.