Whilst work keeps me away from my blog, this view keeps my spirits up.
Back soon x.
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Things my mother never taught me
My mother was a fine woman. She was strong and jolly and independent. She was not a stay at home mom. She worked full time and I went to pre-school when I was just two years old. I loved it, I could do my letters and numbers before I was four. And consequently, the time for learning at my mother's side was gone long before either of us ever thought about it. In fact, we only talked about when I was well into my 30s and discussing stay at home moms versus career women. My mom never quite understood my reasons for not having children, I don't suppose I fully do either. When I was younger, it was because babies and research didn't mix, then it was because my husband works such long hours that I didn't want to be a 'single mum' bringing up babies on my own and being resentful. Now, life is a lot less complicated, with two lovely Boxer dogs and a widower Dad to look after.
I wish Mom had stayed at home with us. We would have learnt about things like baking and gardening, played word games, and gone to tennis parties. Oh, we did all those things, but not with Mom. We always had loads of friends, cousins and grand-parents on hand. In fact, the joke was that Mom never learned to cook because Granny never taught her - but she taught me. Granny taught me in the old-fashioned ways, a little of this, a pinch of that, stir it up with passion, and it will taste good. Nothing with any great finesse, but food from the soul.
Mom and I did discover a couple of things in common - our love for words and our love for gardening. Funny that, because Mom always considered herself to be far superior to me in both subjects. And she probably was, but I'm catching up. Mom would have loved to have blogged about her garden. I started my blog when Mom was ill and she never saw the tribute it has become.
It's good to have a tribute to a loved one. It helps to remember the good times, and it's an evolving place to express your feelings. People who are interested will come to your blog.
Oh, and one more thing - Mom had a clear sense right and wrong. Don't make promises you can't keep, do keep appointments, and always write a thank you note. On second thoughts, perhaps Mom taught me all the important things in life.
I've submitted this post for 'Celebrating Womanhood. Because Women Are Amazing'.
Follow @Shackleford_LB
I wish Mom had stayed at home with us. We would have learnt about things like baking and gardening, played word games, and gone to tennis parties. Oh, we did all those things, but not with Mom. We always had loads of friends, cousins and grand-parents on hand. In fact, the joke was that Mom never learned to cook because Granny never taught her - but she taught me. Granny taught me in the old-fashioned ways, a little of this, a pinch of that, stir it up with passion, and it will taste good. Nothing with any great finesse, but food from the soul.
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| Photo credit |
It's good to have a tribute to a loved one. It helps to remember the good times, and it's an evolving place to express your feelings. People who are interested will come to your blog.
Oh, and one more thing - Mom had a clear sense right and wrong. Don't make promises you can't keep, do keep appointments, and always write a thank you note. On second thoughts, perhaps Mom taught me all the important things in life.
I've submitted this post for 'Celebrating Womanhood. Because Women Are Amazing'.
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| Celebrating Womanhood |
Follow @Shackleford_LB
Let's talk about dying
I have been looking at other cancer blogs and forums and have noticed something quite disappointing. They are filled (quite rightly) with inspirational survivor stories and battle cries, but are lacking in discussions on death and dying. The two largest cancer support organisations have produced practical booklets but there are few opportunities to open up anonymously about how you are feeling following a bereavement. In our case, the GP says 'a significant bereavement'.
When I first started talking and writing about Mom's death from cancer I was amazed at how many people wanted to talk to me. Many had questions they had been too afraid to ask, too afraid of the answers. I had encouraging feedback too from a letter I published in the local newspaper, in praise of local end of life care services in our area.
I set about writing this blog, to document my own thoughts and to provide a forum for other families. The thing is, we still don't like to talk about death. And we sure as heck don't like to think about our own mortality. Cancer is a different disease for everyone but the one thing that all cancer patients have in common is having to confront their mortality. And that is devastating.
So let's talk about dying, it helps us prepare and it can ease the pain of bereavement. Whilst there are incredible success stories in cancer treatment, many people still die from cancer. It would be wrong to avoid talking about death in order to not upset those brave and hopeful people going through treatment, but for many people there will come a time when the brave thing to do is to talk about dying.
My thoughts are with you all.
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