I have recently started a love affair. For one glorious week in June, Mr B and I were ensconced in the most romantic hotel in the south of France. We loved it, and we loved each other. The weather, the beach, the food, the play, the rest, the languid pace of life. After 22 years of marriage, it felt like a new beginning, a love affair with each other, and a new love affair with the south of France.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Things my mother never taught me
My mother was a fine woman. She was strong and jolly and independent. She was not a stay at home mom. She worked full time and I went to pre-school when I was just two years old. I loved it, I could do my letters and numbers before I was four. And consequently, the time for learning at my mother's side was gone long before either of us ever thought about it. In fact, we only talked about when I was well into my 30s and discussing stay at home moms versus career women. My mom never quite understood my reasons for not having children, I don't suppose I fully do either. When I was younger, it was because babies and research didn't mix, then it was because my husband works such long hours that I didn't want to be a 'single mum' bringing up babies on my own and being resentful. Now, life is a lot less complicated, with two lovely Boxer dogs and a widower Dad to look after.
I wish Mom had stayed at home with us. We would have learnt about things like baking and gardening, played word games, and gone to tennis parties. Oh, we did all those things, but not with Mom. We always had loads of friends, cousins and grand-parents on hand. In fact, the joke was that Mom never learned to cook because Granny never taught her - but she taught me. Granny taught me in the old-fashioned ways, a little of this, a pinch of that, stir it up with passion, and it will taste good. Nothing with any great finesse, but food from the soul.
Mom and I did discover a couple of things in common - our love for words and our love for gardening. Funny that, because Mom always considered herself to be far superior to me in both subjects. And she probably was, but I'm catching up. Mom would have loved to have blogged about her garden. I started my blog when Mom was ill and she never saw the tribute it has become.
It's good to have a tribute to a loved one. It helps to remember the good times, and it's an evolving place to express your feelings. People who are interested will come to your blog.
Oh, and one more thing - Mom had a clear sense right and wrong. Don't make promises you can't keep, do keep appointments, and always write a thank you note. On second thoughts, perhaps Mom taught me all the important things in life.
I've submitted this post for 'Celebrating Womanhood. Because Women Are Amazing'.
Follow @Shackleford_LB
I wish Mom had stayed at home with us. We would have learnt about things like baking and gardening, played word games, and gone to tennis parties. Oh, we did all those things, but not with Mom. We always had loads of friends, cousins and grand-parents on hand. In fact, the joke was that Mom never learned to cook because Granny never taught her - but she taught me. Granny taught me in the old-fashioned ways, a little of this, a pinch of that, stir it up with passion, and it will taste good. Nothing with any great finesse, but food from the soul.
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| Photo credit |
It's good to have a tribute to a loved one. It helps to remember the good times, and it's an evolving place to express your feelings. People who are interested will come to your blog.
Oh, and one more thing - Mom had a clear sense right and wrong. Don't make promises you can't keep, do keep appointments, and always write a thank you note. On second thoughts, perhaps Mom taught me all the important things in life.
I've submitted this post for 'Celebrating Womanhood. Because Women Are Amazing'.
 |
| Celebrating Womanhood |
Follow @Shackleford_LB
Do you remember when?
Life was so simple then. Decisions were made for you. Mom and Dad were around for cuddles. When did I grow up and become the responsible adult of the family? It must have been sometime between Christmas Eve and the August Bank Holiday weekend. Sometime between Mom's first chemo and the day she died, I took over, stood up strong and grew up.
I think it was painful, but as with all pain, the body has an amazing way of blanking it out. It's all part of the coping strategy, thank goodness. And boy, did I need to cope. So much to do. Mom's things to sort out and take to the charity shops, her Estate to deal with. Comforting Dad, thanking Mom's friends and carers. Explaining to my brother how Mom had died and what happens next.
A special friend showed me this website which has five important lessons for looking forwards.
I wish I didn’t work so hard
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
I wish that I had let myself be happier
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
We often say, life was better then. I don't think that's true. Life was different then. And life is good now. We need to grow up and focus on the important things in life. Remember to say 'I love you'. Be tolerant of each other, especially at Christmas when families are together, because life is fragile and precious. So instead of saying 'Do you remember when?' why not say 'Tomorrow will be a great day'.
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