Isn't it funny how some people have such positive insight? Throughout our experience of Mom's illness I have been amazed, delighted and encouraged by strangers. Sometimes, it's easier to tell a stranger how you really feel, perhaps we sub-conciously choose the people we talk to.
I met someone recently who asked after Mom and was saddened to hear that she had died. We talked for a while and then she told me that her Mum has dementia and is in a home, being well cared for but very poorly. She has been that way for a few years and it is exhausting, both physically and emotionally for the whole family.
She asked about my work and was surprised to hear that I had given up my job to look after Mom. And as I was on a fixed-term contract and chose to leave the contract early, my employers were not obliged to offer me any other employment. So, here I am, forty-something, changing career, doing something so out of my comfort zone that I get quite frightened if I think about it.
And here's the thing, this (almost) stranger looked me in the eye and said 'Nonsense'. She told me that the loss of a parent is such a significant event that it is quite often life-changing. She's right. I could never have gone back to my old job and sat in the same office with the people I never told about Mom's illness. I had to move on, look for new challenges, like a re-birth she said. Wow, what an important fifteen minutes that was, and all in passing as I was just finishing my swim and she was just getting started.
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