I'm missing my Mom

Perhaps I was a bit harsh last week. I was feeling particularly vulnerable. It’s my birthday this week and I’m missing my Mom. My Dad has been leaning quite heavily on me and the emotional strain is getting a bit hard to bear. I look at him and I can see his pain. He is so lonely, in his quiet house, with his burnt toast and new towels. He is being so brave, I wish I could do more for him. The truth is, I find it difficult going to his house, seeing it just as Mom left it. Seeing Dad trying to keep her plants alive. He has even tried to make some of her recipes. He tries to keep everything neat and tidy, and clean, but he even struggles to deal with the daily post, let alone keep on top of the financial stuff.

We knew it would be like this after Mom died. We shared the last five weeks or so of her life, as her body gave in to the lung cancer. She talked to me about it at length, with some humour, too. Dad depended on Mom more than he realised, although he always appeared to be the dominant partner. The worst part of Dad’s grief is that he will not accept help from anyone. He doesn’t want to inconvenience me. And I want to help. I need to help.

Birthdays, anniversaries and special dates are always going to be difficult. This is my first birthday since Mom died and I really don’t know whether to celebrate or ignore it. This is what grief feels like. This is why it feels different from depression. I know the tearfulness will pass after my birthday. I can see the future, and I am enjoying the new experiences life is giving me at the moment.

Tulip Orange Emperor, Lesley Beeton

When you are ready for it, you will see the positive in your life. Special people will brighten your day. New experiences will come your way. Be open to the possibilities. It’s another way of saying de-clutter your life, be ready for the next chapter.

Follow @Shackleford_LB

I'm not a sceptic, I'm a scientist

I read the papers every day and I never cease to be amazed at the total lack of credibility of the health stories. This is across all the papers, because it's what we, the public, are told it's what we want to read. Well, it's not what I want to read. And I believe that many of us glance through the stories and then get on with our balanced diet, with a bit of exercise and a healthy, positive approach to life. Or do we? I'd like to think so, but the sheer volume of these stories mean that at some point, we're going to stop and read on and give them more than a cursory perusal.

Two such stories caught my eye this morning. The first is about a diet based on our genes. To be specific, a genetic test based on the normal variation of seven genes. These seven genes out of thousands of genes have been picked because of their role in metabolism and were decided upon by researchers working on diabetes type 2. Diabetes is a serious health condition and genetically speaking is a complex multi-factorial disease. That means that it's not just what you do or don't eat, it also depends on your genetic make-up and how your genes interact with your environment (I have written more on this here). And there are certainly more than seven genes involved. A lovely blonde woman is shown as having lost loads of weight and, they say, dieters using this diet have kept the weight off. Isn't it more likely that people who are supported and encouraged on diets in these studies have more success at weight loss than those who diet on there own?

The second story is a re-hash of the old don't eat processed meat story, you'll get cancer. We know. But a bacon sandwich or a sausage roll occasionally is both delicious and can be part of a balanced diet. We are enlightened enough to understand the health disadvantages of eating a high fat, processed food diet, but it is after all our choice. And I choose to eat bacon if I want to, I don't eat it every day. I also eat broccoli and oily fish and brazil nuts for selenium. And I may or may not get cancer or heart disease.

The point is, we have made huge advances in genetics but we do not know everything about how our genes work. It is something that has potential in science and medicine and I wholly support the scientific study in this area. But please don't give up a healthy, balanced lifestyle in the hope that nothing bad will ever happen to you. 

Follow @Shackleford_LB

I'm not a sceptic, I'm a scientist

I read the papers every day and I never cease to be amazed at the total lack of credibility of the health stories. This is across all the papers, because it's what we, the public, are told it's what we want to read. Well, it's not what I want to read. And I believe that many of us glance through the stories and then get on with our balanced diet, with a bit of exercise and a healthy, positive approach to life. Or do we? I'd like to think so, but the sheer volume of these stories mean that at some point, we're going to stop and read on and give them more than a cursory perusal.

Two such stories caught my eye this morning. The first is about a diet based on our genes. To be specific, a genetic test based on the normal variation of seven genes. These seven genes out of thousands of genes have been picked because of their role in metabolism and were decided upon by researchers working on diabetes type 2. Diabetes is a serious health condition and genetically speaking is a complex multi-factorial disease. That means that it's not just what you do or don't eat, it also depends on your genetic make-up and how your genes interact with your environment (I have written more on this here). And there are certainly more than seven genes involved. A lovely blonde woman is shown as having lost loads of weight and, they say, dieters using this diet have kept the weight off. Isn't it more likely that people who are supported and encouraged on diets in these studies have more success at weight loss than those who diet on there own?

The second story is a re-hash of the old don't eat processed meat story, you'll get cancer. We know. But a bacon sandwich or a sausage roll occasionally is both delicious and can be part of a balanced diet. We are enlightened enough to understand the health disadvantages of eating a high fat, processed food diet, but it is after all our choice. And I choose to eat bacon if I want to, I don't eat it every day. I also eat broccoli and oily fish and brazil nuts for selenium. And I may or may not get cancer or heart disease.

The point is, we have made huge advances in genetics but we do not know everything about how our genes work. It is something that has potential in science and medicine and I wholly support the scientific study in this area. But please don't give up a healthy, balanced lifestyle in the hope that nothing bad will ever happen to you. 

Follow @Shackleford_LB